More Bitch and Griping

I am not a parents, but after what people tell me, I don't need to be, because I have this moronic thing called common sense and thinking.

- If you're still living with your parents, then you should be obliged to tell them where you are going when you go out. If you're going to be late, then you should tell them. If they give you a curfew and you break it, then you're in trouble.

- Yes, you should want your child to eat healthy, but, you must let them make their own choice. What you choose to serve your child to eat in your own home is your own business. The school's shouldn't change everything to suit your wishes for your child's health. There's always home school.

- Keep watch on your child at all times in a store. If you bump into a friend in the store, keep watch on your child. If the child gets bored and wanders off, go after the child immediately, and get them. You're there to shop, not to socialize.

- There is a thin line where it goes from discipline to abuse. Don't be surprise when someone calls the cops on you for using broom handles and metal belts on your child.

- If your child is obese, then it is your fault for feeding him too much. If you have to put locks on the cabinet doors, then you're doing something wrong. Rather than contacting the news programs about your obest child, tell them about all the kids who only get a good meal through the school's and eat ketchup on crackers for supper. They're the ones who really need help. All your child has to do is nothing to solve their problem.

- You have a kid, you have a responsibility. I don't care if you forgot your diaphragm. I don't care that condoms aren't your bag. You got a kid now. It's not an accident and it's not a mistake. An accident is something unavoidable like tripping and hurting your knee. A mistake is calling someone by the wrong name. Sex is never an accident or a mistake. It is what it is and if you don't know what you're doing, then you don't need to be having sex.

- When your children go to someone's house and act disruptive, then those people have every right to get on to your kids. That's it in a nutshell.

- Tell your kids to say "please" and "thank you." You will get compliments about how nice your kids are. It's a win-win situation.

- Kids should be taught to respect and fear rifles, shotguns, pistols, and firearms. It's a weapon, not a gun. It's for killing and not for fun.

- A dress code isn't going to keep the kids from shooting up the schools. The only way to prevent it is to get the right people in the schools who treat all the kids as equals despite who their parents are and punish the jocks and the preppies just as fairly as they punish the slackers.

- Mothers should be called mothers and fathers should be called fathers. If you want your child to call you by your first name, that's fine, otherwise, correct them.

- Don't take your young child to an R-rated movie. Don't take your child to an intense PG-13 movie. So, you have to go watch Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties. The people watching Clerk 2 in the next theater will thank you.

- Teach them that racism and bigotry is wrong. Whoever you don't like, your child will end up dating, come hell or high water. If you don't like gay people, you're going to have a gay child. If you hate blacks, then you're child is going to date a black person. If you don't like Democrats, then you're kids are going to vote Democrats. It's alright to have an opinion, but opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one. Don't let it get out of hand.

- And please, please, give your children actual names for people. If you're naming your child after a comic book hero or a fictional mermaid, then you're already moved to -1. Madison and Tyler are names, last names. Skylar is on letter short of Skylark. Here's the way it works, you give your child an embarrassing name they don't go by and an common they do go by. Don't name your kids after fruits and vegetables and don't name them after forms of percipitation. Flower childs are long gone. It's about time Generation X-ers got with the program and they only way to prove to the Baby Boomers that they can be good parents is not shouldering their children with too much of a burden. And you start that by giving them a common name.

- Finally, you might not be able to give your child everything they want. You might not be able to give your child everything they need. But as long as you give them your unconditional love and let them live their own lives, then you've done your job.