Famous Last Words

"I am not a crook!"
"Read my lips. No! New! Taxes!"
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman!"
"Brownie, you're doing a heck of job!"

Remember what it was like when we taught our kids that Presidents didn't lie. One hundred years from now, we not really care much for their policies, but we will remember the soundbite that took a big chunk out of their Presidency.

Even though Nixon formed the EPA, opened talks with Red China, and lowered the voting age down to 18, he basically abused his powers in the White House. We've really given Nixon more hell than he probably deserved, but it was so much fun.

As it has been with the Bush clan. How can Daddy Bush and Little Bush actually think they were doing well. Let's face it, the Persian Gulf War brought on a recession. And I'm sure we were all in it together during the Riots that erupted in Atlanta and L.A. after the Rodney King case. Throwing up in front of Japanese dignitaries pretty much summed up Daddy's Bush's re-election hope. He blew it!

Little Bush has done every thing wrong in the past five years and yet, we're applaude him for dooing something right, like the appointment of a new Federal Reserve Chairman. Is Bush clinically retarded, I think so. It's like the American public is just tolerating him because he doesn't know no better. When he gave George Tenet a medal, it reminded me of the scene in All Quiet on the Western Front in which Corporal Himmeltoss gets the Iron Cross medal, when a previous scene shows just how much of a coward he is. This leads me to think that we have really overdone it with the participation awards. I've helped out with the Special Olympics and know that it's better when everyone is a winner. Yes, but with dead bodies lying on the streets of New Orleans miles away, you're not doing a heck of a job. (Now, people are complaining that Bush didn't cause the hurricane. That's true. He was responsible for what happened next. You know what the difference is between Bush and God. God doesn't think he's George W. Bush.)

I included this picture is fake but I thought it was so funny.

Now, all you Republicans out there can relax. I've saved the best for last. Clinton. Slick Willie. I was all in favor of Clinton until Monica Lewinsky. I don't condone adultery nor do I think the President of the United States should be getting his bobo honked while talking to foreign leaders. This is not the way Presidents should act. After Lewinsky and Paula Jones, I'm starting to wonder if Clinton is nothing more than a little horny devil. Surely, he could have gone for Angelina Jolie. If she bones Billy Bob, what's another man from Arkansas going to matter. But with those big lips, the blow job would be like trying to give a whale a tic-tac. And do we need over 900 pages to describe Clintons life. I was born poor. I sucked up to politcians. I became a lawyer. I married a psycho bitch. I fooled around on her. I became governor of Arkansas and then President of the United States. The End. That's your whole life of Clinton in a nutshell. That's not even 900 letters.

My only question is how are we going to teach our kids about their Presidents when they keep embarrassing themselves like this?