This Week in God, 3-19-06

You got to love Scientology. It's members are Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Beck, and Lisa Marie Presley to name a few. I had no idea Isaac Hayes was a member. I say member because isn't that what all religion takes us for, just another member to the organization. "Follower" sounds too much like a cult.
This week, Hayes on the eve of a rebroadcast that never was, publically announced he was quitting his duties as Chef from South Park. Well, considering that he his last memorable episode was "You Got Fucked in the Ass!"and that was two years ago, I say "Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Isaac!"
Hayes was mad because of the infamous "Trapped in a Closet" episode of South Park where Stan is confused as the second coming of L. Ron Hubbard.
Scientology is still a young religion and like most of today's youths doesn't like to be told "No" and must be the center of attention on everything.
The episode was not re-aired and has led to one of the biggest rumors of the week that Tom Cruise pressured Comedy Central, sister company of Paramount, that he wouldn't do any publicity for Mission: Impossible 3 if the show was rebroadcast. The show hints at Cruise's homsexuality because he is in a closet and is told to come out of the closet.
First off, why does Cruise still get mad when people make fun of his sexuality. He's been married to Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman, been romantically involved with Penelope Cruz, and is currently dating Katie Holmes who he got pregnant. I say his next movie should be a remake of Deep Throat, so all of Hollywood will actually see him fucking a woman. Maybe that will shut them up a bit. C'mon, if you were having sex with Katie Holmes, you would be jumping up on the furniture, too? You can't act that excited about getting pussy unless you've actually gotten the pussy. Brando, Nicholson, De Niro, Pacino, Olivier, none of them could act like that. He's getting some. That's the bottom line.
Second, doesn't anyone really care about the third Mission:Impossible. Why doesn't Cruise go back to making movies like Rain Man, Born on the Fourth of July and The Color of Money? Those were great movies.
Third, Scientologists just need to lighten up. If Cruise wants to stop a rebroadcast, he needs to keep Battlefield Earth from ever been shown. When this movie first premiered on HBO in 2001, even the cable didn't want to transmit it. Honestly, at least twice, the cable went out briefly for the first fifteen minutes.
If Scientology gives some people the spiritual guidance they need, then all power to them. But please, quit acting like someone just shit in your chocolate pudding when a TV show or a political cartoon makes fun of your religion.
People might actually take Scientology more seriously if ever PR photo didn't contain John Travolta and Tom Cruise hugging over each other like two drunken frat brothers.